Loving Your Body After Babies feat. Liz Henderson

February 17, 2022

I’m Cason!
And I'm so glad you're here. My prayer is that these words give you hope in the everyday so that you can experience God's fullness in
every season.

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Loving our bodies postpartum and even years after having babies can be a difficult thing to navigate. I’m so excited to have my friend Liz Henderson on today’s show to share her knowledge and expertise in this area.

We’ll talk about what’s it’s like to feel like a stranger in your own skin, wanting to feel like yourself again, and how impatient we can be with change and weight loss after delivery.

Liz reminds us we’re not alone in the unpredictability of motherhood and that there are many layers to healing, processing, and finding ourselves again after delivery. It does take time, but there are things you can do now, or as soon as you feel ready, to help support yourself in your healing journey and begin feeling like yourself again postpartum.

If you’re wondering where to start and how to begin loving your body after babies, this episode is for you! How does mindset play into health, wellness, and weight loss? It may be a bigger factor than you realize.

Lastly and maybe most importantly, we’ll talk about how to pick the ONE thing that is simple and sustainable for you and your life. Grab some earbuds or plug us into the car and let’s dive in!

Liz Henderson is a postpartum weight loss coach who helps moms get consistent and lose weight. She supports the moms in her community through their postpartum journey.

You can find her podcast, The Tough Love Mom Podcast, here.
Connect with Liz on Instagram here!

If you loved this episode, will you take a screenshot and tag us on Instagram? @heyitscason & @mrslizhenderson

And don’t forget to leave a review letting other moms know how this show is impacting you! I hope it blesses and encourages you.

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Hey mama. Welcome back to another episode of Her Pursuit! I’m so excited to share today’s interview with you. I’m talking with my friend, Liz Henderson, who helps moms get consistent and lose weight postpartum. But we’re not just talking about weight loss in this episode, we are talking about how to love your body again after babies and how to get started postpartum when you don’t recognize your body anymore. I know this interview is going to bless you. So let’s get started.

Hey, Liz, welcome to the podcast. I’m excited to have you on. I’m really excited about this conversation. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself, kind of how you got to where you are now, what you’re doing, what you help moms do and how you help them do that.

Thanks so much. I’m excited to be here. So I, right now I’ll go ahead and do what I do. I help moms get consistent and lose weight, especially after having, well, obviously you’re a mom after you have kids. But at that point, postpartum, when you’re ready to tackle that portion of your journey, because it can feel really lonely.

It can feel really overwhelming. And I just want to simplify that consistency aspect because that’s what it takes. It takes time, it takes discipline. And I want, I, I help moms get to that point where they’re feeling better in their bodies again, by losing weight, which I know is a touchy subject and we’ll get into today.

But a lot of moms do want that. So I help them get there through simple consistency habits. And things like that, that help help them get to that weight loss goal, not necessarily a number, but that feeling of feeling good, where they’re at. The reason I got to that point and doing that with moms is in my first pregnancy three years, three and a half years ago now…

I gained 90 pounds, partly because of preeclampsia, partly because of just some emotional things going on and coping in really unhealthy ways. And at birth, I mean, I knew looking in a mirror, I was like, “wow, I really don’t look like myself.” I don’t really pay attention to the scale of those prenatal appointments.

But the bed during labor had like a scale that you could, I guess, see the weight or whatever. And my husband, a few months after delivery, we were talking about, I don’t even remember how it came up, but he told me what he saw, not in like a judgemental way or anything. It just came up in conversation. I wish I could remember that back and forth with him, but I did the math in my head really quick.

And I was like, “wow, I gained 90 pounds in that pregnancy.” And that was kind of, I couldn’t even wrap my mind around that because I’ve always been active. I’ve always been healthy and 90 pounds. It just, I couldn’t comprehend it because you hear okay, 25 to 35 pounds, if your average weight, which I am, and that’s what you should expect to gain at pregnancy.

And I’m like, I almost gained triple that amount and I just, I just couldn’t comprehend it. And when I got cleared to work out again, I just put my head down, did what I knew how to do… worked out, ate well, 70 to 80% of the time, nothing crazy. And in about a year, I lost 80 of those pounds. So simple. I mean the most simple habits, it’s not hard.

Right? It’s simple. Did those things, got pregnant at the one year mark and gained 60 pounds in that pregnancy. Now that pregnancy, no complications, no preeclampsia, not a lot of swelling. And I still gained 60 pounds. So part of it, I think is how my body responds to pregnancy. I’m really active through my pregnancies, I don’t know.

I have, I have two boys that might be a factor. I don’t know exactly what it is. But as I saw the scale going up again, I was like, okay, I’m going to have a long journey ahead of me… Two kids under two, a lot of weight to lose a second time. Going to give myself “grace.” That’s a phrase I’m really careful using, but grace throughout this journey, but also do what I know how to do again, approach it in a really sustainable way.

And we’re just going to do this thing and throughout that second postpartum journey, I was like, this is not hard to do. It’s so simple, but so many moms struggle with that consistency aspect and that consistency is always been part of who I am, but it’s not hard to get to that point. And it can be really complicated as a mom, especially transitioning to a whole new routine and whole new priorities.

So that’s why it’s really on my heart to help moms with that and how I got to that point.

Yeah. I love how you say that it’s, it’s not hard. It’s not difficult or complicated. It’s, it’s very simple. I find that a lot in the things that I speak to as well, like the routines and in the habits and, and really just starting small.

And I think that’s something our minds convince us of is that it has to be perfect or that it’s going to happen overnight. And I think that’s kind of just like the culture that we’re in and the society like the world we live in now, everything is like instant gratification and immediate results.

Things that are, that are worth having, which sounds so cheesy, really do take, you know, consistency and dedication. And that’s just not something that I know I wasn’t willing to be on board for. Like I wanted it right then. So what do you find most moms are struggling with when they come to you looking to lose this weight? What is the biggest struggle that they’re saying and telling you that they have?

There’s a couple that I hear. And I hope the moms listening go, “oh my gosh, I’m not alone. Thank goodness.” Because I think every mom faces these at some point. The first one’s the unpredictability of motherhood and the constant change.

It’s like the second you figure out how to get things done, how to plan your day out, your kid changes things. And I mean, I’m three and a half years into motherhood and that still happens. My three-year-old is still changing stuff up on me. So the unpredictability is a huge factor. Um, a second one, and you hit on us…

And I love that you did, but that instant gratification. And I think the hard dichotomy of this is moms know it’s going to take time to feel like themselves again. Obviously we get cleared at six to eight weeks to work out, you know, on average. But recovery, like actual physical recovery on a muscular level, hormonally can take up to 18 months and that’s not talked about as much as the, “oh, you’re cleared to work out again.”

And I think even though we, so we know, and we know deep down that it’s going to take longer, but a lot of the messaging is “okay, get back to” and not, there’s not like, I think the bounce back culture (if you can call it that) has been very addressed. And moms know that’s not realistic, but there is still this, I think it’s just an inner fleshly desire for things to go back to the way they were.

And we know logically that’s not going to happen fast. And so there’s this weird dichotomy of, “I just want to feel like myself again. But I know it’s going to take a long time.” So there’s this impatience, that word comes up a lot with moms I talk to who are like, “I know it’s going to take time, but I just want to feel better right now.”

And so that’s, that’s really hard. And then the last piece is that loneliness along the way, because you’re constantly facing different struggles and different challenges, and you’re not sure what the solution is. You’re not sure how to approach it. And you’re like, “am I the only one facing this struggle right now?

Why do I feel so alone in it? How am I enough…” That you’re, you’re almost in this deep dark hole of, “I don’t know how to get out of this. I don’t know how to figure it out.” So all those things compound to just being overwhelmed. And there’s so much information out there about do this and try that.

And it’s all good information, but when you’re in that place of feeling, feeling lonely, you know, not feeling like yourself, that just all compounds and makes it just this, almost this gorilla on your back. So it’s a very layered struggle that I think moms face and that they come to me with, which is hard to address because you kind of have to peel back the layers one at a time and address them.

But, it’s the hard work and it’s good work, I think, to process through all of that and face all of it and navigate it. But yeah, it’s definitely a multi-layered issue that moms are coming to me with and struggling with. And so you’re not alone if you’re feeling like it’s all these different things. I’s very layered and it’s definitely, you’re definitely able to get through it, but so many facets.

For sure. And I think it can be easy to look and say, this is on the surface. What I feel like my issue is, or what I want to, to fix… This is the problem. But just like you said, there are so many layers to all of these things. Really, I feel like to change, in any regard. I feel like there are layers to- It’s just so much more than, than what it appears on the surface when you really start digging in.

And so I think it’s, it’s really cool that you address all of those things with the moms that you’re helping and working with. What would be some things you would say to a mom who’s really struggling with her body postpartum and you know, she’s looking in the mirror and maybe… You know, she’s feeling shame or guilt or she’s like, “I want to love my body where I am.

I want to nourish my body. I want to get healthy. I want to feel good, but also want to love myself right where I am and kind of appreciate what my body’s just been through.” Especially in those early months, postpartum. What kind of advice do you give her?

That’s such a good question. So, this is going to sound backwards, but you have to take a step back and stop focusing on your body and start focusing on what you’re doing.

And I know that can, it’s really easy to cross a line into like this to-do list life and always trying to do all the things and get them all done. I’m not saying to do that. I’m saying to- Our thoughts are so powerful, right? And I love that you talk about that a lot, but if we’re constantly picking apart how we look and how we feel physically and our mind is so focused on that…

It’s going to get consumed by that and we’re going to get consumed with our body image. We’re going to get consumed with how we look and how we’re not losing weight or how we’re not where we want to be. And so we need to shift our thoughts and shift our focus onto how we’re showing up in what we are doing.

And I think the best thing a mom can do is focus on, and this is where I always want moms to start, is pick one thing that is simple. That is sustainable. All the clients I work with, it’s almost different for every single one of them. Some moms, they’re like, “okay, I’m going to work out three times a week for 20 minutes and I’m going to do that until I master it.

And maybe I’ll add on four or maybe I’ll add on 10 minutes and do three days for 30 minutes.” And they, they start there. Some moms are like, “I’m going to just start eating vegetables at lunch and dinner because I’ve been eaten like ramen and all these takeouts and all these frozen meals, which is great, but I need to start eating vegetables again.”

They pick that one thing that’s sustainable and they just master it and they don’t focus on anything else. They don’t focus on trying to take on a thousand different things to make their journey go faster. And when you take your focus off of how you look and how you don’t feel great about yourself and… You know, I mean the best word I can describe how I feel the first few months postpartum is my body feels foreign to me.

Like I’m moving the same way. I don’t feel comfortable in the clothes that I have. Like, you can’t really wear your pregnancy clothes and you can’t wear your prepregnancy clothes. It’s just uncomfortable. And you can take your focus off of that by picking just one simple thing to start with. Not pouring all of your energy into it, but letting that be something you own. It’s yours, it’s something that’s for you.

And I think it’s so healing, especially early postpartum, not, not super early, but when you’re ready to take that on to have, I mean, that’s your, that’s your thing. That’s something you own. And we get so lost in motherhood and we can get so lost in our new role and trying to take care of everyone else.

But when you have that one thing that you’re doing for you, even if it’s as simple as like, a 15 minute walk, four times a week. Or what I mean, there’s so many, one little thing, one little small thing that you can start with. When you have that thing for you, your focus gets taken off of all the negatives and it’s just, it’s confidence building, it’s habit building.

You’re taking care of yourself. You’re nourishing yourself, whether it’s physically or nutritionally or mentally or emotionally. Uh, and it’s just, it’s so good in so many ways. So that’s where I encourage moms to start. It’s just one simple, small thing that’s sustainable that you know, is going to be good for you and owning that and prioritizing it.

I mean, make it absolutely non-negotiable week to week. And that takes communication. That takes discipline, but it builds so much and it is a phenomenal starting place. Literally for me, it was, “okay, I’m going to do these fourth trimester workouts three times, three to four times a week. They were like 20 to 30 minutes.”

Um, that is, I don’t care what time of day it happens. I don’t care which four days a week I do them, but I’m going to do them. I don’t care if, you know, I need to give my husband the kids for those 20 minutes every single time, or I have to do it at 8:00 PM. I’m doing them because it’s for me and it makes me feel better.

And I know long-term, it’s going to benefit my journey as well.

That is so good. I think that, I know for me and part of my journey, I was stuck for a really long time. And I was focused on what I didn’t like, what I wanted to be different, but I was spending no energy or time thinking of ways to fix it or change it.

Or, you know, instead of taking ownership of, of what I could and doing something about it, I just wanted to focus on what I didn’t have or what I wish was different. And I love how you just spoke to just taking a little bit of ownership and it doesn’t have to be drastic. It doesn’t have to be, you know, it can be whatever you can sustain.

Choose the one thing. And the one thing I love to talk about the snowball effect, you know, it’s like we start with the one thing and then when we master that we can increase it or we can take on another thing. We don’t have to do it all at one time. And I think there’s so much freedom in there when you can finally, actually believe it and start to walk it out.

You see, okay, there’s actually something to this. You know, it, it is true. I can just do the one thing and it can be small. And if I can stick with it consistently, then I can add onto it.

Exactly, and isn’t that where like the grace and like, I feel like that’s, that’s what it means to give yourself grace in the journey. Okay. I’m not going to try to be perfect in my nutrition right now because I can’t take that on, but I can take this on.

And I think, that word, like giving yourself grace, can be so, it can be so abused, when really it’s that patience. It’s that… What can I do sustainably? And just being very conscious of like the choice you’re making and not trying to take on all the things. Cause it’s just not doable in this new season.

Yeah and I remember too, something you said a minute ago made me think about this. I remember even postpartum thinking to myself, you know, even looking in the mirror and thinking, “how long is this going to take for, you know, will I ever not feel like I have this baby weight or it not feel, you know, a little more loose and a little more jiggly,” and it is different.

It’s still different, you know, seven years postpartum from my first. And it’s like with every pregnancy after, obviously it changes more and it’s different each time. I thought to myself one time. I can’t remember what after which pregnancy, but I thought, “you know what, it took me nine months to grow this baby or a little longer.

And I got to give myself at least nine months,” but I love what you said. It’s like, it’s actually double that, you know, on average. So I think having a more realistic view of what our bodies have just gone through and what our bodies have done and allowing ourselves the time to heal and recover and feel like ourselves again.

I just think that’s really important for us to have a more realistic view. And I feel like it’s really hard in the moment to feel that and have that aerial view of what you’ve just gone through, because you’re like, “okay, I’m ready to move on to the next thing. I’m ready to kind of bounce back,” quote unquote.

And it’s just, it’s not realistic and it can be hard to give ourselves the time and the grace, like you were saying, So I know that a lot of moms struggle with balance and this idea of balance and what that means. You know, you’ve, you’ve just had a baby and maybe it’s it’s your second or your third. And you’re kind of figuring out how to balance your time and balance motherhood and you, you know, your own life and…

How, how do you make time for it all? And what is your idea of balance? And maybe can you kind of encourage the mom who feels like she’s surely on the struggle bus when it comes to balance? Like, she feels like she’s just got all these balls in the air and maybe they just feel like they’re falling all around.

How do you encourage moms in the area of balance and what does that look like for you

That’s a great question. Balance, I heard Christy Wright say this one time. It’s I think it’s one of her awesome one-liners, but balance isn’t doing different things for the same amount of time. It’s about doing the right things at the right time.

So looking at your day, looking at your priorities, looking at your values and putting them in the right place at the right time of day. Something I share about a lot is how my first year postpartum, literally with both boys, I was doing, I probably did a workout at every different hour of the day at some point during that first year, because my routine changed almost on a daily basis.

It was unpredictable. Thankfully, I stayed home with them. So I have that flexibility to work at 9:00 AM or 4:00 PM or noon or one or eight or five, you know, like there’s that flexibility there for me. I had to approach each day, literally one at a time. And say, “okay, I know I need to do these things. I know these things can wait if I can’t get to them.”

And I think that’s the best way to approach balance is to say, “okay, what is most important to me?” And again, taking it back to that one thing that you’re focusing on mastering right now in your journey specifically, make that a non-negotiable. That’s your priority this week. What are you going to do it when it comes to obviously your family?

How are you getting clear on what’s important as a family? Is it dinner times together? That’s not something that’s super important in my family’s life right now because my husband’s schedule is all over the place. My kids eat at a different time of day. Sometimes I’m not hungry when they’re hungry. So, you know, meals together in our season right now aren’t super, super priority because they don’t happen a ton.

They may be happen a couple of times a week. If I were to say, I want to have family dinner five days a week, and then we weren’t doing that. I’d be super disappointed and let down, but I realistically know, okay, that’s just not a priority. And it’s not something balance-wise that I need to try to work in or try to force, when it’s not there.

So I think knowing what your priorities are. Knowing what is your one thing that you’re focusing on in different areas of life. Obviously, I help moms with their health and their fitness and their weight loss. And so what’s your one thing in that area? But then what’s your one thing with your work? What’s your one thing with your family, and making sure those are prioritized.

Those are not moving. Those are going to happen. And then the other things say this a lot, let them move on to the next day. If they don’t happen, I don’t vacuum as much as I probably should, but it’s not that big of a priority for me in this season of life. Same thing with cleaning the bathrooms.

Sometimes the laundry piles up and I don’t get it all done in the timing I probably should. And my kids run out of long pants when it’s cold outside. Well, it’s like, there’s things that are going to fall by the wayside. And I don’t feel guilty about that because I know that the things I am showing up for are what are most important to me.

And it’s really easy to lose that sight and that big picture view of what is most important. And I think that’s when we start to feel out of balance, is we’re doing the things that are easy or doing the things that aren’t hard to avoid and we’re avoiding the things that maybe are harder because we know their priority and we don’t want to fail at them.

It’s, I think that’s really deep issue you might be facing, but I, you know, I’m just getting clear on those most important things. So things that are going to move you forward in the areas that are important and then prioritizing them and letting the rest fall to the wayside, if it needs to.

Yeah, that’s such a good point. You know, you have to decide what matters to you. What, what is a priority to you in your life? And I think just in this age of social media, it can be hard to not feel like we’re chasing after someone else’s life. Like you said, whenever those things don’t fit into who we are in our season. That gap is what leads to that disappointment.

You know, when we can’t meet these expectations and it just feels like we’re trying to just keep up, almost like we’re on the hamster wheel, trying to just keep up with someone else’s life. And, and I love that you said that because I say the same thing. I try to remind moms, what is it that you want?

Because you might not even want what this thing is that you’re striving after. So evaluate that. It’s so important to know that and, and have the confidence to actually walk that out in your life. You know, your life is your life and you are you. And it’s almost like we’re not running anybody else’s race and we’re not raising anybody else’s family, you know, so know, know yourself, know what matters to you and prioritize those things.

And that truly is balance, in my opinion. It is really could be, interchanged with your priorities.

Yeah. I tell moms all the time, “put your blinders back on.” Like it’s great to look around and be inspired by other moms or be informed by other moms. Obviously, podcasts are phenomenal. There is great resources and great relationships on social media.

Get from that what you need, but then put your blinders back on and focus on your family and your journey and your life, because you know that best. And we get really distracted really easily. And it’s hard to do that when… Here we go, we’ll get into it. It’s really hard to do that when you’re trying to numb out hard feelings or avoid hard things by scrolling and consuming more, instead of putting your blinders back on.

Yeah. That can be, um, I love that. And we’re getting, I’m going to let Liz tell you this, but her, she has a podcast and it’s called The Tough Love Mom Podcast.

We go there, sometimes.

There it is. You got to go there though, because if you don’t talk about things for what they are, I don’t feel like that’s helping anyone.

It’s just, you’re going to continue in the same cycle, unless you, some, somebody speaks truth into your life. Which I love that you just did that, because sometimes those things need to be said. Well, Liz, this has been such a great conversation. Could you just give us one last word of encouragement? Like what would you say to a mom who’s listening and she’s like,
I’ve had a baby and I feel like I’m drowning and all, all of the things I feel like I’m really overwhelmed.

I have this weight that I want to lose. You know, I want to change my habits. I want to create routines. And how would you encourage her to just get started with all of that?

It’s so hard to be in that position. And first thing is, you’re not alone in that feeling. It’s really easy to feel super lonely in that season because there’s so much going on and there’s so many unknowns.

And every single mom who walks us earth has been in that position at some point, whether it was for five minutes or for five years. And I think it’s really good to just remind yourself, “okay, I’m not alone in this. I might not know anyone who’s faced this before. I might not know anyone who can give me the exact answers I need, but I can figure it out.

And I have a Heavenly Father who can help me figure it out and stay the course.” And I honestly think leaning into that is one of the most important things we can do and not trying to do it in our own power. Pick one small thing to start with, figure out what that is for you. It’s trial by fire in motherhood, and it can be trial by fire in our journeys too.

You might say, “okay, I want to start working out first, but then maybe you’re thrown a curve ball of having some pelvic floor issues. And you need to stop working out for a while and go to pelvic floor physical therapy.” Who knows, we’re going to be thrown curve balls all the time. So pivoting is one of the- flexibilities, another word for it, is one of the best skills we can grow as moms.

And so leaning into that, leaning into these lessons that we’re learning, leaning into the change that we’re going through. And doing so in a way that you’re giving yourself grace, you’re taking it one thing at a time, one day at a time, one new habit at a time, one change at a time. And not trying to be further down the road than you are right now, because when we can focus on right now and when we can take on what’s right in front of us.

Then we’re prepared for what’s next, instead of trying to take on what’s next, before we’ve taken care of right now. I hope that made sense.

Yeah, that was good. And I think that the unpredictability and the curve balls and all the things that moms will face is, is why it’s important to have a coach and an expert in this area and a guide, somebody that you can really have that accountability piece and the community.

Um, and have the knowledge of someone who’s been there. Who’s worked with other moms to help them in their journey. And I love that that’s what you’re all about. So if you will just tell, tell the moms listening, how they can connect with you and where they can find you for more information about all that we’ve talked about.

Yeah. So Cason shared I have the Tough Love Mom Podcast. So you can find me anywhere, you listen to your podcasts. And on there, I share postpartum weight loss stuff, everything about consistency from time management to routine, to habits. And then we also focus a lot on mindset because in my opinion, the postpartum journey is more mindset than anything else.

And so mindset’s a huge thing that we talk about. So the Tough Love Mom Podcast, and you can also find me over on Instagram @mrslizhenderson. You can connect with me there and obviously sharing a lot of stuff that I talk about on the podcast, but a great place to connect. And then we also have our community on Facebook.

You just need that connection and that community. So you’re not feeling lonely, post up questions in there, you know, engage with the other moms. They’re there for you. I’m there for you in that community. That’s honestly the best place to engage, but you can just search for the Tough Love Moms Squad on Facebook and you’ll find us over there.

Yes! And I’m going to link to all of that in the show notes so they can just scroll down, tap in, and if they want to listen, join the community, get in there with other moms, that is truly a huge way to get started… Is just connecting and getting around other moms who are in the same place, on the same journey, wanting the same things that you do.

That’s a really key thing. So I love that you offer that for, for moms and for your community. Well, I’ve enjoyed this conversation so much. We’ll have to do it again sometime soon. Thank you so much for being here and thanks for chatting with us about these things.

Thank you.

How good was that conversation? I’m so glad that I was able to share it with you. I pray that it blessed you. I pray you found encouragement, something that you can take with you throughout your week. One little nugget of truth that inspired you to just continue pursuing this journey of being a better version of you, regardless of, if it has to do with weight loss or body image or whatever, it may be loving yourself and loving you and knowing yourself. Especially early postpartum is so important.

So I pray that you found value here. I pray it blessed you and encouraged you. Be sure to connect with Liz on Instagram, check out her podcast. It is amazing. I’ve linked everything below in the show notes. And if you enjoyed this episode, would you take a quick second and rate it on Apple Podcasts, letting me know what it meant to you, how it encouraged you?

I would love to hear from you. You can do that by tapping “Write a Review,” down underneath all of the episodes. Your support means everything to me. And when you leave a review, it helps other moms just like you, just like me, find content like this. And listen to episodes like this one of encouragement and hope, and reminding them they’re not alone in this motherhood journey.

So thank you so much for your time. I’ll see you next time, friend.

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