Today is part 1 of a February series I’m calling “Loving You”. Each week we will talk about a topic on how to love YOURSELF well. And what better topic to kick off this series than the ever popular “self care”. We’ve all heard it said, “self care isn’t selfish”, but do we actually believe that we’re worth making ourselves a priority? And if so, HOW do we actually do that?
Today we’re talking about all things self care as moms who often feel stretched too thin and prioritize ourselves last. We’ve all heard about it and pretty much know what it is. But have we lost sight of the importance of actually living it out in our lives as busy moms? Is there a spiritual significance for the Christian mom? It’s easy to hear about something so many times that we eventually aren’t even phased – it goes in one ear and out the other. But, today I want to discuss what self care actually is, how you can practically make more time for yourself within your week, and why it matters as a mama of faith.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
(0:00):
Before we dive into today’s episode, I want to let you know that during the month of February, every Thursday, I’m going to be bringing you a February series that I’m calling “Loving You.” Each week we will talk about a topic on how to love yourself well. And what better topic to kick off this series than the ever popular self-care?
(0:20):
So, this is part one of the February series. Make sure you come back next week for part two. Go ahead and subscribe to the podcast now so you don’t miss out on any future episodes.
(0:33):
Hey, mama friend. What’s up? Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today, we’re talking about prioritizing self care. I mean, as a busy mom, don’t we all need to prioritize self care a little bit more? I kind of am like, you know, I tend to be kind of against the grain, what everybody’s saying, I don’t want to say.
(0:51):
What everybody’s talking about,I don’t want to talk about, or do what everybody else is doing. I actually am a rule follower, but there is something within me that is somewhat of a rebel. I don’t know, but I want to talk about self care. I want to redefine “self care.” Okay? And I want to redefine the way you think about it, the way you feel about it.
(1:08):
So we’re going to talk about why you need it, why it matters and how you can practically implement it into your life. These buzz words, like self care. I feel it can just be like, “oh my gosh, I’m just tired of hearing it.” I don’t know if you feel like that. I kind of feel like that. I kind of don’t even want to say the word, but let’s talk about what it really is.
(1:28):
Let’s talk about what it really means and why it really matters and how you can really implement it into your life as a busy mom. So grab some tea, grab some coffee, whatever your thing is. You might want some headphones. You might want a notebook. I don’t know. We’re going to talk about some Bible verses in here.
(1:44):
We might even go to church. I don’t know, that is TBD. What I do know is this is Holy Spirit inspired, so it is going to be good. Let’s get started.
(1:53):
Okay, let’s be honest. Do I really have to explain why you need alone time? Do I really have to explain why you need self care? I think we know why. I think we have all been there when we’re like, “if somebody else touches me, if I hear the word ‘mama’ one more time.” You know, we just have been done. So that is why you need self care in a nutshell, that is why you need alone time.
(2:24):
You’re doing for others, constantly. You are always pouring out. You rarely stop to fill back up, and that is not good for you friend or your family. I’m not sure why we glorify the mom who constantly is like running on E and is so tired and exhausted and frazzled and unshowered, and is just like this hot mess.
(2:46):
But her kids are fed and her kids are entertained and she’s like a good mom. They see you looking like a tired, worn out mess, running on fumes. What message is that sending to them? Like, can we just stop for a second and say, “okay, I feel like that makes me a good mom.” First of all, why, but second of all, what message does it send to your daughter about what a mom does and how she cares for herself and what it means to be a mom?
(3:11):
What message does it send to your son? Like, we don’t really think about these things because we’re so busy just like doing and serving and cooking and cleaning and every single thing that we do. We’re not stopping to ask, what are the implications of this? Like, what message am I sending to my kids? What, how is this affecting them?
(3:32):
Does it matter? You know, maybe that’s something that you need to kind of explore and think through for a second. And do not for a second, have any mom guilt. Do not feel shame. That’s not the point. The point is to just be a little bit more self-aware to know, okay, this matters. How I present myself matters. How I feel matters and the way that my kids see me running around like a chicken with my head cut off, always panicking and you know, last minute, every single thing in my life…
(4:04):
That matters. Okay? It matters. It’s affecting them. And the reason that it’s important to know that is because you have the choice. There is power in knowing that you have responsibility, that you can take ownership. It would be a terrible, like this episode would be terrible.
(4:20):
It would be terribly bad news if it was just like, well, there’s nothing you can do about it. It just, that just is how it is. Like that’s mom life it’s, uh, it’s just that, you know. And you can’t do anything about it. You can’t fix it. And that’s so sad. Like I’m over here playing like a tiny violin. But there’s good news. You can change it.
(4:39):
You can fix it and you. It’s not complicated and it’s not difficult. It’s not as hard as you might be thinking that it is to kind of reverse this. It’s actually very simple, very easy, but idolizing the motherhood martyrs needs to come to an end. And I will be the first one to say it because there’s no award for being the most tired, the least fed, the least cared for. You know, running on the most fumes of caffeine and coffee and whatever else it is that you hear, like these moms sayings. Which they’re funny, like, okay, go ahead and laugh at it.
(5:10):
But let’s, don’t live by that. There’s no award for giving the least amount of attention to yourself. Like how completely backwards is this train of thought? It actually is like, despicable in a way. And I literally never say that word, but I just feel like this is just gross. This idea that this is what motherhood is, and this is how, this is what it means to be a mom.
(5:32):
Like it almost insults me a little bit because I’m like, no, I was made for more. You were made for more. And I think deep down, we want to feel refreshed. We want to do what we enjoy. We want to put ourselves first and meet our needs, but we’re scared that that would look selfish. It feels selfish. We’re scared that it would make us a bad mom.
(5:54):
And most of all, we are scared at who would be staring at us in the mirror if we stopped for two seconds to actually look at her. If you stopped to actually look at your reflection, you would most likely say that you don’t recognize her. Most days, you don’t recognize yourself and sitting with yourself and caring for yourself and loving yourself though, you do really want to do that, it also puts you in a position of acknowledging who you are now and who you’re not.
(6:23):
And that makes us uncomfortable. It makes us sad because we haven’t reconciled what we’ve lost since becoming a mom. And if I can’t go run 10 miles, then I just don’t want to do anything. Or if I can’t bake 48 cupcakes and three tiered cakes, then I just can’t do anything.
(6:38):
I can’t do anything. I can’t do what I want to do. So I can’t do anything. And those examples are a little bit extreme, but there are parts of us that are bitter about what we’ve lost. About what we can’t do right now in this season, it’s frustrating. And if we can’t have it how we want it, and if we have no idea who we are, then we might as well just keep throwing ourselves into motherhood and wearing ourselves down and running on empty and barely surviving until we crash and burn, because that is what eventually happens.
(7:08):
Like maybe you’ve experienced it or maybe you’re on your way there now. But you will crash and burn if you never stop to fill your cup. Okay. I think, you know why you need it. You do, you do know why you need to pour into yourself and fill yourself up because truly it’s a cliche, but you cannot pour from an empty cup.
(7:28):
Like if nothing’s in my cup, if I go to pour something out, nothing comes out because nothing is in there. You have to put in what you want to get out. Okay. Let’s talk about why you deserve it. Whether you want to call it self care, soul care, me time, whatever, it is not selfish. Your body is a temple. And if you’re not a Jesus follower or exploring faith, I’m going to have to just like leave you right where we were for a second.
(7:54):
You’re welcome to still listen. I hope that you will, but for mamas of faith, your body is a temple. Do you really think that is what God had in mind when he gave you children? When he said, “okay, you’re going to move into the season of motherhood. You’re going to shift into this identity of being a mom now.”
(8:11):
Do you really think hot-mess mom life is his best for you? Do you really think that the way that you treat your body, the way you talk about your body, the way you think about your body and feel about your body is what he had in mind and designed for you? When the Bible says, “do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God…
(8:34):
You are not your own.” Think about that for a second. What did Paul mean when he wrote that? For me, it’s a reminder that every single thing that I put into my body, everything that I consume matters. It matters and it has implications. If your body is a temple, then you were to care for it and put things into it that glorify and honor the Lord, whether that be by food or drink, music, TV, self-talk, anything you are consuming should strengthen your body, which is a temple.
(9:05):
It should build you up. This is not a Cason thing. This is a Bible thing. Like Paul said this, it’s in the Bible, not me. So if you don’t like it, I’m going to have to refer you to him through prayer, but we have gotten it all wrong. Culture has fed us a lie that to be a good mom, you have to constantly pour out all you have.
(9:23):
And this part is the lie: and not fill yourself back up. How dare you leave your kids with their dad? Why would you think that you need to go out by yourself for anything? Why would you go get your nails painted? Why would you go get a massage? Why would you go read in Barnes and Noble? Why would you go get coffee and just sit there and drink it while it’s hot?
(9:42):
Don’t you feel bad when you go and do those things? Don’t you feel guilty when you go hang out with your friends? You should, because that’s selfish, especially as a stay at home mom. You should be at home in a robe, not having showered for nine days and running on cold coffee and your toddler’s leftover sandwich crust.
(10:00):
That’s a good mom. I mean, it’s almost comical. Like this is literally what society says is a good mom. Like, no, it’s not. Is that a joke? Because that sounds like a terribly awful life. But that’s what we’re like, that’s the standard that we have, that the world has set to be a good mom. This is what you have to look like.
(10:22):
This is how you should be, and this is how you should act. And this is what you should do and not do. Okay. What if we, you know, for the moms of faith, if you’re a Jesus follower, you believe in Jesus, you read your Bible or maybe you, you at least want to, you know, those of us that are following him, what if we let his Word and who he says about us, what he says about us and what we’re called to… What if we let that define motherhood?
(10:47):
What if we let that define our lives? You would not be living off of coffee and sandwich crust, friend. I can promise you that because that is not abundance. That does not sound like freedom.
(10:56):
That does not even sound like fun. Let’s look at one more example from the Bible, and then we’re going to get really practical about how to find time for yourself in your day. So I’m gonna talk about this really popular figure. If you grew up in church, if you’ve ever gone to church, if you’ve been around the church for any number of time, done ant Bible studies, you’ve probably heard about are the Proverbs 31 woman.
(11:20):
And don’t most of us think about her as this soft, quiet wise example of just like this perfect woman? I’ve always thought, you know, typical stay-at-home mom, homemaker always sacrificing, pouring out for our family and that’s not completely wrong, but here’s some of what these verses actually say. And this is my challenge to you friend, because I did this for so long.
(11:43):
Like as a believer, as a Christian, I became a Christian in eighth grade. Kind of grew up in the church and had to grow into my faith. But for the longest time I relied on other people to just kind of summarize what the Bible said and give me like the summary and give me all the wisdom, because, you know, I didn’t believe that I was capable of sitting down and reading the Bible myself and interpreting it or hearing from God.
(12:05):
Which is a complete lie from the devil. So if you’re wrestling with that, just know that you can go straight into his word. You don’t have to rely on Bible studies or the mom devotion to tell you what you need to know about what he says about you and who you are. Okay. So we’re going to go straight to the Bible and what you’re going to find when you actually get in it and start reading some of these verses and reading these stories…
(12:26):
It’s maybe going to be nothing like you’ve ever heard before. Like, I remember just quick side note, I remember sitting down and reading through the Christmas story on my own for the first time ever couple years back, like reading it the whole way through. And I was like, this is it?! Like, what? Where’s the rest of the stuff?
(12:44):
Like what I’ve seen in the movies and all the other like devotions and stuff. It’s, it’s not in there. Somebody else somewhere else made that up and just like gave you this idea of what the Christmas story is. And if you actually read it, you’ll see, this is all that is actually there. And it can kind of be a little bit mind blowing.
(13:03):
So same thing with the Proverbs 31 woman. When I actually sat down and read all of Proverbs 31, and, you know, as a young girl, wasn’t really able to put two and two together. But as I got older and kind of revisited her in her, I don’t wanna say character, but her in the Bible, I was very shocked at what I read.
(13:22):
Okay. This is what it says. I mean, this is a perfect example. You might think that Proverbs 31 is all completely about the Proverbs 31 woman. It’s not, we don’t start talking about her until verse 10 and it’s important to know that the first verses, one through nine, you have to know that context. And that’s, what’s missing in our lives as Christian moms.
(13:43):
As Christian women, is context. Okay. That’s like a separate episode for a separate day. Okay. We’re going to start in verse 10. It says, “an excellent wife, who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” And I’m reading the ESV by the way, “the heart of her husband trusts her and he will have no lack of gain.
(13:59):
She does him good and not harm, all the days for life. She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant. She brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it with the fruit of her hands.
(14:20):
She plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profit. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hands to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.”
(14:38):
And there are other verses, “she’s not afraid of snow for her household. All of her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine, linen purple. Her husband is known in the gates. When he sits among the elders of the land, she makes linen garments and sells them.
(14:56):
She delivers sashes to the merchants.” I mean, She’s like a mom-prenuer okay. She not just sitting at home, like making soup, she actually is working and she’s kind of doing her own little thing and she’s providing for her family as well. There’s a lot here that doesn’t really line up with like the churchy view of the Proverbs 31 woman.
(15:20):
Now I want to tie this back to self care and how this matters and why this matters. I didn’t even read the whole 21 verses or however many. Yeah. There’s you go all the way through 31, starts at 10. I can’t do the math on that. That’s 21, right? But I can already tell from reading. I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it, she seems like a woman who lives with purpose.
(15:41):
She seems like a respectable woman who cares for herself and who cares for her family. She works diligently with purpose. She’s probably very efficient with her time. She probably doesn’t waste time. There are a lot of things in here that play to her character, strength and dignity.
(16:01):
It says strength and dignity are her clothing. She laughs at the time to come, she doesn’t worry. She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She’s not talking about how terrible her life is, how much mom life sucks, how terrible her kids are, how draining they are, how she can’t wait for them to go to bed.
(16:18):
And I’m not saying this is a metaphor… Like this is a poem. I don’t think. I could be wrong. I didn’t extensively study this, but this is not an actual person. It is more on the virtues of a godly woman and the, who exemplifies like these principles of wisdom practically and spiritually, the virtues of a wife.
(16:40):
But yes, this, this person, whoever this is about is still a human and is still going to sin because we all do. That’s not what I’m saying, but I’m saying in general, her character and who she is, does not sound like a hot mess mom who never showers and is never eating. Verse 28 says her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also.
(17:02):
And he praises her. “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praying.” And basically read the whole 21 verses about the character of this woman, but how much of that lines up with you and your view of motherhood, and your view of being a godly woman versus what the world says and what you are constantly bombarded with on Instagram (through reels and posts and stories and Facebook and everywhere else)?
(17:37):
Like, yes, we’re living in a different time. But some of these principles, I would say all of these principles, still apply. And a godly woman is still a godly woman and a godly mom is still a godly mom. And so if that is, if that is your aim, is that if that is your end goal, if that is what we’re working toward, which I think most of us here are, then how much of your life does not fall into alignment with that?
(18:07):
What areas? And she’s filling her cup by doing what she enjoys. It sounds like that she’s passionate about these different business ventures and things that she does and working with her hands. So she’s doing what she enjoys. What are things in your life that you once enjoyed that you have just put to the wayside?
(18:28):
And I’m not saying that it’s going to look the exact same as it once did, but you can modify and you can figure out how to incorporate it into your life. Into your day to day to help you feel that fulfillment, that you once felt. You know, mom life is really crazy. I was talking with some ladies last week on some calls, just kind of like, chatting and getting to know y’all a little bit better.
(18:48):
I had this discussion with a mom who said, “you know, the measure of success as a mom is so much different than when I was working.” But I’ve been thinking about it since our call and I’m like, what is your definition of success? And I even asked her in a follow-up message. I said, “what is your definition of success?
(19:07):
What is your definition of a successful day? What does that feel like?” And sometimes we just have to take the time to say, and she had, she shared with me, which was really cool… But we have to define what success is in our own lives, for ourselves and our seasons. Because success might not look for you, how it looks for me in this season. Or another mom’s, you know, season on Instagram or what Pinterest says. What feels like a success for you?
(19:33):
Is it just that everybody makes it through the day fed and happy and closed until bedtime? Okay, clothes optional. Let’s be honest. We have toddlers and kids that don’t want to wear clothes. They’d rather run around in their underwear all day. But what is your definition of success? And then live by that. Live by your own standard and measure of success.
(19:52):
You know, it was just like, how do you define that measure of success? What is the bar? How do you know that you’re doing a good job, that you’re doing it right? And I would say that a lot of times, it’s not like an instant gratification or an instant reward, you know, all of your efforts. It is a labor of love that you pour into years and years and eventually, you know, prayerfully, hopefully we reap the benefits of doing it well.
(20:24):
And I don’t think that doing it well, looks like running on E with like this frizzy frazzled mom bun that, like I said, hasn’t showered in a week and just like hasn’t eaten in two days. That’s not doing it well, that’s not doing mom life well and mothering well. But everybody around us is running on fumes and running on coffee and “I’m surviving on coffee or surviving just on wine till nine and then it’s bedtime.”
(20:54):
And is that really what you want for yourself in your life? Is that really what you want for motherhood? Is that really the kind of mom that you want to be? And I don’t think that you do. I don’t think you do because you’re here and you’re a part of this community.
(21:07):
Most moms who are attracted to this content kind of repel the other. And so I talk a lot about that. I don’t think there are a lot of hot mess moms here, but it is very easy to feel like that. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you’re a mess and feeling like a hot mess, because life is crazy.
(21:25):
Circumstances are chaotic. Kids are unpredictable. You never know what you’re going to get. But at the end of the day, or really at the beginning of the day because, you know, if you know me, if you’ve been hanging out with me for a little bit, you know, I love my morning routine. And I think that part of that is just getting grounded for the day and getting focused like this is, this is my mindset.
(21:44):
This is what I’m taking on. This is who I’m going to be. And I’m going to do my best to show up as this version, as this mom. And I’m going to trust that the Lord’s going to fill in the gaps and I’m just going to do my best and to serve him, to serve my family and my kids well. I want to do it well, okay.
(22:00):
If I dropped you off at the bus stop a bit ago, you’re like, “I’m not a Jesus freak. Can something please apply to me?” I’m picking you back up because these things are practical that can be applied, regardless of if you’re a Christian. These things are just going to help you get your me time in and help it to go a lot smoother.
(22:15):
Okay? The first thing that you need to do is find the time, right? You need to find some time and I’m going to refer you back to episode 22. It’s one of my top three downloaded, most listened to episodes. I talk about time blocking. I go into details about how you time block. I give you a free template that you can grab to actually write it out, work it out for yourself.
(22:34):
You have to find the time, okay? So look at your week, look at your days. Figure out where you have these pockets, because you do. Okay. Stick with me. You do, don’t shut down. Don’t let the brain say “I don’t have time. I don’t, I don’t.” We do. I have the time. Maybe that needs to be a new belief that you claim. “I have the time.
(22:50):
I just need to find it” So designate quiet time in the afternoon. Maybe if the baby see, there’s like, I know there’s so many different ages and ranges of moms and stages listening. If the baby takes a consistent nap, utilize that. That’s like a given. If your child is older and doesn’t take a nap, designate some quiet time in the afternoon.
(23:11):
Okay. You’re mom, you’re boss, you get to really tell them what to do. Not in a mean kind of way, because you’re a tyrant, but because you’re the mom. Like, you’re in control. So designate some quiet time in the afternoon. You can set them up with some toys that they only use during this time. So that it’s like got a little bit of newness to it. But these need to be things they can do independently.
(23:33):
Like a soft foam puzzle, books, little readers that will read to them, a reading cube with headphones, diff- There’s like a ton of different things that you could do. No loud toys, nothing that can harm them, something they can use on their own. They’re not going to have 5,000 questions about how to do it, and they need help, and all the things.
(23:49):
Get them settled with that. And this can be your little block of time. If you want to, set a timer. If you have like an okay-to-wake clock, you could apply it to this. A lot of people use that in the mornings, but you can use that in the afternoon too. If you’re like, what is an okay-to-wake clock? It’s really just a clock that you can use for kids that says, “okay, when this time comes, the light’s going to turn green (or whatever color), and then it is okay to come out of your room.” Or you can set a timer, you know, based on your kids’ needs and what they can understand and comprehend, do that thing.
(24:15):
If they need a countdown, like if you set it for 15 minutes. And that’s the thing is like, you don’t have to have a lot of time. It would not take you a lot of time. So 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes. Obviously the more, the better. I mean, hello. But do what you can with what your kids are able to handle and then do not get on your phone.
(24:40):
Go do the thing that you like, that you enjoy. This may take some pre-planning. So prep for this. Okay. So utilize afternoon time, you can get up five or 10 minutes before they wake up in the morning. That would be another time of day that you can utilize your time and squeeze as much out of it as you can and do something for yourself.
(25:00):
And then just look for pockets throughout the day. If it’s something that you’re being conscious of and being aware of, and that you want to be intentional with, then you’re going to look for moments when… “Oh, the kids are settled in. They’re both playing with a puzzle, or they’re both doing this or…” whatever it is.
(25:16):
“I could get in a little bit of me time and I could read through a couple pages of this book or I could paint my nails or whatever it is that you want to do.” And I’ve got a self care freebie. I think it’s got like a hundred plus ideas of self-care, easy self-care. If you want to grab that and get a copy, just go down to the show notes, tap that link and put in your email.
(25:34):
It’ll send it right to your inbox. It is chock full of ideas that you can do during these times when you find these little pockets. But here’s some other things that I want to just kind of give you some little notes, little last words of encouragement. You’ve got to let go of perfection. Okay? The expectations, the ideas of what it should look like, of what it should feel like.
(25:55):
You gotta nix those. You gotta let go of those in your mind. It’s not going to look like that. Okay. You have a toddler or a newborn. The idea of self care, the Pinterest idea of self care is not attainable for you, for me right now in this season of life. It’s just not, so let go of that expectation, set a more realistic expectation.
(26:16):
Okay. And get a more realistic idea of what you want the time to look like or be like. Start small. We’re not talking about a spa weekend, unless you can make that happen, then you totally should. But I’m just, we’ve got to start small and do these little, little things. They add up and you need to be consistent.
(26:35):
It will not work if you’re constantly running on empty. You have to carve out time every single day or every other day to fill your cup. Look for the small things that just brighten your day. Like sitting with your favorite mug and a warm cup of coffee or whatever it is for you. Maybe a new journal, just writing, spending some time writing or highlighting in your Bible or highlighting in a book, dancing around to some music that you like or sitting by yourself, outside on the porch.
(27:01):
Look for little small things to brighten your day. And do it often. Okay. As often as possible. The last thing that I just want to make sure that I hit home, and put a nail in the coffin for, is that screen time is not me time. Do not scroll on socials. As soon as you pick up your phone and realize what you’re doing, put it down.
(27:23):
This is so, so hard to do. I know because I struggle with this. I’ll pick up my phone by habit and I’ll even tell myself as I’m scrolling, “put it down, put it down.” And it’s hard because they’re addicting. It’s designed to be addicting and pull you in and keep you on it. There are some practical ways that you can set boundaries here.
(27:39):
Two things I’ve tried, are setting time limits within your phone settings. You can designate a specific amount of time to each app. And once you reach that time limit, it will notify you that the time is up. Now, of course, there are ways to bypass this, so you’re not locked out for good. There’s still some self control required here.
(27:57):
But the other thing I’ve tried is turning my phone on silent and putting it a good distance away from me, either on the counter or in another room. I obviously still check it periodically since I have two girls at school. Find what works for you and begin to break up with your phone. Like, I know that doesn’t make sense as someone who is growing an Instagram and putting out podcasts, which you have to have a phone to listen to. I’m reaching out to you and connecting with you with your phone.
(28:21):
So it does not logically make sense for me to tell you to break up with it, but it is what is for your best. It’s for your own good. When you sit and you scroll, you are missing out on valuable me-time that cannot be replaced. And then before you know it, the baby’s awake and you feel worse because you didn’t do anything productive or you didn’t do anything for yourself.
(28:44):
And it’s just this ugly cycle that continues until we can learn to set healthy boundaries with our phones. It is much needed for all of us. I need less screen time as well. It’s a goal of mine for this year to be on my phone for less time. I don’t know if you get those weekly screen-time reports, your average per day like I do.
(29:02):
I’m going to be honest with you, just like super vulnerable and transparent. I didn’t plan to say this, but I guess it just tends- the truth just tends to come out. Okay. It’s what I do. I overshare. Last year I was spending upwards of eight to nine hours a day on my phone. Now I can sit here and try to justify that to you and say, “well, I have the Bible app on my phone and listen to audio books and I’m listening to sermons on YouTube and I was…”
(29:31):
But not for eight to nine hours a day. And so if you want to check that little setting real quick, if you have an iPhone go into your settings and then go into screen time and just look to see how much time you’re spending each day on your phone. Now I’m so proud. I’m going to scream this from the rooftops.
(29:47):
I’m proud to say I’ve gotten it down to a little over three hours a day. I’m trying to like keep it under four. I want to be four to five. Because I do work from my phone. I do a lot from my phone. I do use my phone for a lot of things that are productive, but I’m not going to justify that and say that I need to be on there for X amount of time when I know, when I know for me, um, that’s not serving me.
(30:07):
Obviously, I would never speak into your life and try to say, “you’re not using your Bible app or any, like at your eight to nine hours on your phone is not beneficial.” Maybe it is. Maybe it’s not, that’s for you to discern and for your own convictions to come in.
(30:19):
But if you continue the cycle of addiction to your phone, you’re just going to end up feeling defeated every single day. When you aren’t productive when you didn’t do this, when you didn’t do that is because you’re on your phone. Okay. Because I’m on my phone too. I know. And I’m saying it in love because I love you and I want better for you.
(30:37):
And I know that you want better for yourself. So you got to break up with it. You got to figure out how to like, not be addicted to it and fill something else. And that’s the thing is if you have a plan, if you know, “okay, as soon as I put this baby down,” like maybe you put your phone somewhere else before you even get the baby down and leave it there and you get the baby down and then you go do your thing.
(30:55):
Because if you hear the notifications, if you see it pop up, if your phone screen illuminates, you’re going to pick it up. And before you know it, you’re going to be 45 minutes down the rabbit hole. And that’s 45 minutes that you could have poured into yourself and done something for yourself. Mama, you deserve that. You deserve that time.
(31:12):
Don’t avoid it. Don’t keep filling the void. Sit with yourself. Be with yourself, love yourself. Get to know yourself again. You’re great. You’re an amazing mama. You’re doing so good. And you’re still you, you just, it’s just a little bit different now. Okay. And so the things that you’re going to do might have to look a little bit different, but you can modify those.
(31:32):
And you deserve to. You deserve to be known and you deserve to know yourself and to pour into yourself as much as you pour into your kids and your family. Remember these truths. Take these little nuggets with you. If you enjoy this episode, please share it with a friend. You can send them a screenshot right now.
(31:46):
You can share the episodes through the settings. If you’re on apple podcast, I would love and so appreciate if you would leave me a review. Let me know what this podcast means to you. Let me know what you’re getting out of it. Let me know how you like it. When you rate and review the podcast, it helps other moms just like you and me find episodes like this one. And be full of hope and encouragement, right alongside us, which is what we want.
(32:08):
We’re building this community of mamas who just want more for motherhood. Who are saying, “we’re doing our best. We want to do it right. And we’re trying really hard. We want to set the intent. We want to be intentional and create an intentional motherhood that is full of calm and peace and feels good, feels in alignment with who we are and our identity, ultimately in Christ.”
(32:27):
So if you would do that for me, I would so appreciate it. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for your support and I will see you next time!
